Saved By A Siren: Spencers in Love Book One Read online

  Gilles rose above her, settling within her spread thighs. His cock was in his hand and he rubbed it against her slick entrance. He hissed at the feel of her hot, slick fluids against the throbbing head. Elise pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply. Her hands slid over his shoulders and clutched at his back.

  "Yes!" She sighed against his mouth as the sole of her foot rubbed against his calf. Her other leg wrapped around him and pulled his hips towards her.

  Just as he was about to press into her, Gilles raised his head. What had she just agreed to? Taking him into her body or marrying him? Did Elise understand that they were the same? His body begged him to continue, to sink into her and lose himself in her lush, willing curves. His erection pulled him towards her, the head dipped into her molten tightness. Unfortunately, Gilles' conscience grabbed the reins. He withdrew and took her face in his hands. Elise protested, her nails dug into his flesh and she raised her hips off the bed.

  "Gilles? Please!" She was delirious, her voice desperate. He very nearly gave in but he remembered that her choosing him mattered more than his needs. For now.

  "I need to know what you're agreeing to, Elise." His muscles burned as Gilles held himself back. He had been so close, he'd had a glimpse of heaven and had turned back. His body strained, his cock pulsed. It would be so easy to slide into her and let his instincts take over. He lifted himself away and sat on his haunches. The sight of her nearly undid him. Elise was flushed and spread open, her hair fanned on the pillows and clung about her shoulders and breasts, her lips were swollen and her chest rose and fell urgently. Nothing could have tempted him more, drove him wilder. Gilles gripped his cock and squeezed it, hoping to dull it's ache so he could think. "What are you saying yes to?" His voice was hoarse.

  She sat up and reached for him, her fingertips brushed his stomach.

  "I want you! Please, Gilles! Make love to me." Elise begged as she grabbed his straining member. He stilled her hands and clenched his jaw.

  "If you give yourself to me now, you're doing so forever. I can't do this if you won't agree to be mine."

  "I'm yours." Elise's lips brushed his collarbone.

  "You'll marry me?" Hopefulness bloomed in Gilles' chest.

  "Why do we have to decide that now? I'm yours in every way that matters."

  Gilles groaned and collapsed on the bed, out of her reach.

  "That's not good enough." His reply was muffled by the bedclothes.

  "Why? Can't we just keep things as they are?"

  He flopped onto his back and looked at Elise.

  "Not for very long, love. Maman will need to go back to London eventually, the season is almost over but there will be another. And I'm not going to keep her here just so I can carry on with you. She won't allow it and neither will I. There's so much more than this, Elise! Sneaking kisses and tiptoeing from beds in the middle of the night will get old fast."

  "More?"

  "I want to keep you in my bed all night, every night. I want to fall asleep holding you and slide into you as we wake up in the morning. If I decide I want to keep you in here for days and make love to you in every way I can imagine, I don't want to have to worry that the staff will poison me or quit. I want to be able to tell people that you are my wife. "Lady Elise Spencer is the most beautiful woman in all of England and she belongs to me"." He felt her jerk when he used her name with his. "I don't just want you to be mine in here, when no one knows, darling. I want the world to know."

  "Gilles..." Her voice wavered. Elise drew her knees to her chest and rested her head on her arms.

  "I want you to be mine in every way. Once you give yourself to me, I won't hold back. I can't. I'll want to lose myself in you over and over, filling you with my seed every time. I want to see your belly grow large and hold our children in my arms." He heard her gasp and she started to slide from the bed. He rose onto his knees and followed, determined to finish. "If we aren't married, any children we have will suffer. They'll be denied their rightful futures within society. I want us to grow old, hand in hand as our family thrives and grows before us."

  Elise was trembling, her fist pressed against her mouth. She began shaking her head furiously. Gilles saw tears shining against her cheeks.

  He padded towards her and wrapped her in his arms gently, pulling her head against his chest. Elise sobbed and he rocked from side to side.

  "I need you. I never thought I'd feel anything but pain. You make me feel whole and real. I was starting to wonder if I'd died and just hadn't realized it. When I'm with you, I'm happy and at peace. You're not the only one that needs help, Elise." Gilles took her chin and raised it. He set his lips to hers briefly. "I know you're scared. Will you trust me, will you give me all I ask?"

  Elise pushed away, her arms wrapped around her stomach and she chewed her lip. She lifted her face towards his.

  "I don't know..." She sounded so small and so far away.

  Gilles raked a hand through his hair and his chest tightened. He'd laid his soul bare and it hadn't worked. Yet. He turned from her and did the second hardest thing he'd had to do all evening.

  "You need to go then. Don't come back here until you've decided because if I take you, the choice is no longer yours. And I promise, if you come to my bed again, I will have you. I won't stop. Even if the bloody house burns down around us, I'll make you mine. Forever."

  "But..."

  Gilles cut her off.

  "Go."

  Elise nodded and left the room.

  Chapter 22

  The mood in the dining room was subdued as Gilles filled his plate and sat down. He'd responded to his family's greetings with grumbles and allowed his plate to clatter loudly on the table. He ignored it as he hid behind the news sheet. He didn't need to see the questioning glances and grimaces exchanged. A quarter of an hour later, Elise had yet to arrive and Gilles was irritated at the chorus of cleared throats and coughs. He'd stood to excuse himself for a ride when he heard her arrival.

  Elise looked as if she'd cried more than she slept. He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and apologize for distressing her. But he couldn't. She had to decide, giving in now would only make their lives harder later. Gilles finally looked at his family as she sat. Their eyes were full of pity, for both of them.

  Holderson had been called to the kitchens so Gilles strode to the sideboard and made Elise's plate. He set it gently in front of her, prepared her coffee and turned the handle.

  "Thank you, Gilles." She whispered.

  He nodded. His gut clenched at the use of his name. The urge to kneel at her side and hold her was almost too much. He considered leaving again. As he looked at Mirabelle, he decided to stay. She was formulating a plan. Staying to thwart it or aid it along was the better course of action, he decided. Just as he sat, Holderson rushed into the room and skidded to a halt when he saw the plate in front of Elise. He bowed to Gilles.

  "Thank you, my lord." This time, his eyes drifted over the both of them and he nodded soberly. "Will you be needing anything?"

  "No, Holderson. Thank you." The butler took himself off.

  Mirabelle cleared her throat.

  "I take it the two of you still haven't come to an agreement?" She asked softly, touching Elise's hand in support. Elise shook her head. "Maman, Alastair and I do hope you'll accept, Elise."

  At the mention of his name, Alastair looked up in surprise. He'd been following along but the last thing he wanted was to have to say or do something.

  "It's so complicated, Mirabelle. I care for you all and I'm so flattered that you would welcome me. It means so much. I just don't think it's the right thing for either of us."

  Gilles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd hoped she'd be leaning in the other direction and this wouldn't be difficult.

  "I'm so sorry!" She whispered.

  "If you don't marry him, he'll have to find someone else and I'm certain she'd be dreadful!" Mirabelle declared a touch to dramatically.

  "I'm not mar
rying anyone else." Gilles ground out.

  "But you'll have to! You have to have an heir at least." Mirabelle continued. Gilles understood her tactic but he wasn't enjoying it.

  "Alastair could..." He was cut off by the slamming of a cup on the table. Alastair shook his head rapidly as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  "Don't even think about it. I find it highly unlikely that I'll ever marry, let alone procreate. That's your job, not mine."

  "Mirabelle could have a son..." Gilles stopped when he saw her head furiously shaking as well.

  Her gaze focused on her plate.

  "I'm sorry but there's a very good chance I won't marry either. It seems you're our only hope."

  Celine, Gilles and Alastair exchanged worried glances. Mirabelle took a deep breath and regained her composure.

  "So, he'll have to marry someone else if you say no. And it would be beyond awkward to have you and his wife here. Especially when there are children."

  "I'm not marrying anyone else, Mirabelle. If she won't have me, I'll leave and she can stay. I don't give a damned about the title."

  "You'd leave?" Elise's voice was barely audible and her face paled.

  "Well, you certainly can't live together forever." Mirabelle continued, "Gilles, says that he doesn't care about the title but he's never turned his back on responsibility. He'll do the right thing."

  Elise nodded. She wouldn't be so torn if he was the kind of man that could shirk his duties.

  "Of course, he has to marry. I'll move to Harwood Grange when the time comes." Elise announced.

  Gilles stood quickly, his chair fell backwards with a clatter. Elise jumped in her seat.

  "I'm done discussing this!" His fist slammed against the table causing the china, silver and crystal to bounce. He pointed at Elise. "I marry her or I marry no one. I won't marry a woman I don't want. If the title dissolves, so be it." Gille stalked from the room. A moment later, the study door slammed.

  Chapter 23

  "Oh, my! Such enchevêtrement. We will sort this out, mes enfants." Celine promised.

  Alastair finished his plate and followed his brother, leaving the ladies in silence.

  After several moments Elise took a steadying breath and turned towards Celine and Mirabelle.

  "He wouldn't do it, would he? He'd marry eventually."

  Celine sighed.

  "Of course, mon petite. But it would destroy him to do so." She excused herself and left the dining room. Mirabelle rose and hugged Elise.

  "I know you'll do the right thing, Elise. You love him." Then she was gone and Elise was alone, her feelings once again in turmoil. If only she knew what "the right thing" was.

  Sighing, Elise considered her plate. She'd barely touched her food. Her eggs were probably cold but she couldn't see the sense in summoning Holderson. Her appetite was nowhere to be found. She pushed it away and rose from her seat.

  Elise spent much of the day at her piano but played very little music. Her mind would drift in the middle of a song and by the time it returned she couldn't remember what she was playing. If Elise did finish a song, her mind would cast about for something else to play and nothing would come to her. Gilles had stayed away during lunch. Elise let the conversation wash over her, her plate entirely ignored. After, Mirabelle and Celine invited her to walk in the gardens but she declined. She returned to her piano and meditated for the rest of the day. By the time she went up to dress for dinner, a headache pounded away at the inside of her skull and her mood was brittle. Elise begged Anna to dress her in something more conservative and comfortable. She wanted as little attention as possible and just wanted the evening over with.

  Elise was surprised when she sensed Gilles waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Her heart fluttered and she longed to touch more than his sleeve. For his part, he was warm but almost silent. He'd bowed over her hand and placed a fleeting kiss across her knuckles before he rested her hand on his arm. Gilles led her directly to the dining room, his family followed silently.

  Mirabelle attempted to make small talk and keep the meal from being completely awkward. Elise nodded and smiled but barely attended. As soon as the dessert plates were removed, Elise rose and excused herself, explaining that she had a terrible headache. Once in her room, she allowed Anna to help her undress and put on her nightgown. As Anna brushed out her hair, Elise rubbed at her temples.

  "Would you like me to get you a powder, my lady?" Her voice was gentle, concerned.

  Elise shook her head and stood.

  "I think I just need to sleep. It's been a long day. Goodnight, Anna." She listened to her maid leave and was relieved to feel drowsiness tugging at her senses.

  Hours later Elise woke with a start. She let her senses extend, trying to determine what had woken her. She heard something fall in the next room. Something small and solid. Her head cocked and she held her breath until she heard the next sound. Gilles sobbed and called for someone to stop. Elise was opening the door to his room before she'd even realized she'd left her bed. She paused. He told her not to go in there. She slumped against the door frame, agonized. Gilles kicked at the bedcovers, the sound of his limbs pumping and flailing reached her. Her eyes watered. What should she do? His heart was beating frantically and he was moaning louder. She knew the worst was to come and the pain he would be in. Desperate, Elise retreated into her room and ran for the door to the hall.

  Elise ran until she knew she was at the gallery and then continued across to the other hallway. She had no idea how long it was or where anyone was located. Her body began to tremble violently, she was starting to lose track of where she was. Once she reached a wall, she felt along until she came to the first door. She pounded on it. Her heart was beating so loud she could barely hear her fists against the wood. Elise pushed towards the opposite wall feeling along until she found another door and beat against it. She began to feel light headed.

  "Please!" She moaned as she felt along for another door. She could still hear Gilles crying and pleading, whether it was imagined or not, it felt as if she were being torn in two. Elise flung herself against the opposite wall and slammed her hand against another door. She heard one open a little further down the hall and sensed Alastair. She reached for him as she heard him run towards her.

  "Elise, are you alright? What's happened?" Alastair was concerned and alert, she could hear his heart pounding as he gathered her to him.

  "Please you have to help him!" Elise begged as she tugged at the lapels of his robe, tugging him towards the far end of the hall. Alastair began to follow her swiftly, his arm at her elbow when they heard a scream in the distance. It was a roar of pain and rage that shattered Elise's heart.

  "Stay here!" Alastair ordered as he ran across the gallery.

  Disoriented and overwhelmed, Elise sagged to the floor, unable to stop herself, she began sobbing. Another door opened behind her and she heard someone running towards her. A moment later, Mirabelle was there. Her arms were around Elise and she was trying to calm her.

  "What happened? Did I hear a scream?"

  Elise tried to stand, hiccuping as the worst of her sobs subsided.

  "It's Gilles, please take me to him. Alastair went to help him."

  "What happened to Gilles?" Celine asked, rushing behind them.

  "I don't know but Alastair is with him." Mirabelle stated as she put an arm around Elise.

  Still shaking, Elise urged them along.

  "He has terrible nightmares. He said I couldn't help him but I couldn't bear to listen."

  "Mon garçon!" Celine cried.

  "I wanted to help him but he told me I had to stay out of his room." Elise whispered as Mirabelle wrapped her arms around her tighter.

  Elise knew they were close to his door. She could feel the warmth as it spilled into the cool hall. His smell, mingled with sweat and Alastair's own blend met her nose and she began to relax. She could hear their whispers.

  "Why didn't you say anything, Gilles?"

  "We're
not children anymore. Would you take me out to the lawn to sleep under the stars?" Gilles teased.

  "If that's what it took. You never let me suffer alone, why wouldn't you let me do the same for you?" Alastair asked, his voice was full of tenderness. Elise had never heard him so emotional.

  "I didn't want anyone to worry. I'm sure it will pass. It's been better since I've been here. She..." Just then, he heard the women approaching. He cursed and stood.

  Elise heard someone move to a window and open it slightly, allowing a gentle breeze to waft through the room.

  "Good evening, everyone." Gilles said pointedly. "Won't you all come in?"

  "I'm sorry, it was so bad and you said I couldn't come in. I didn't know what else to do." Elise apologized, her voice trembled as she recalled his scream.

  She felt him drag her against him as his arms closed about her. His face pressed against the top of the head. Clearly, he didn't care if his family saw them.

  "I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to scare you." Gilles kissed her scalp and his hand lifted her chin. He touched his lips to hers. "But you can't be in my room anymore until you agree to marry me. Until you accept me as your husband, my dreams are not your responsibility."

  A throat cleared and his head snapped up. He stepped away and Elise shuddered as the chilled air of the room replaced his embrace.

  "What are we going to do? You can't go through this every night." Mirabelle asked. Everyone understood what she was implying. Someone needed to stand guard (figuratively speaking) at night and they had the perfect candidate in mind.